Confessions of a Black Lotus Pt.3  (the Epitome of 2016)

After twelve solid rounds I slouch in my corner with a undeniably Punch Drunk daze.  This year I’ve finally went the distance but I can tell by  the look on the physician and my handlers face That this may be yet another grim ending . My body is so sore from the constant blows this year has served me that i wouldn’t be surprised if I’m bleeding internally.  I really thought I had this year in the bag . With tears creeping from my swollen eyes I reflect on the match trying to figure out where I went wrong once again . The first couple of rounds I was rolling with the punches Yet unbeknownst to me it was all a set up.  

  The harsh reality was that I truly wasn’t ready for this fight . Weight wasn’t up , reach was off  so I constantly missed my mark , and there were times where my only defense mechanism was to clinch my opponent to catch my breath.  Yea , I started off strong but I lost momentum and The last two rounds consisted of a flat out punch and retreat delivered from a quick and clever 2016.  I can’t believe I fell for that bull shit once again !  

When life gets tough put on your boxing gloves !

I walk to the middle awaiting the  Duke with my head low. As I stood there stripped, tired , heartbroken, and drained mentally, physically ,and spiritually . I already knew the verdict . Yet when the ref lifted that years hand deeming another year victorious over me I instantly drop to my knees releasing a blood curdling scream.  You would think I’m all cried out by now but I’m not Damnit !” I’m so tired , I’m so fucking tired ” was all I kept saying as my handler ran to my rescue to try and get me back on my feet and out the ring . But honestly I’m totally humiliated and I couldn’t face the crowd after taking yet another loss . So I pleaded for him to let me stay here until the spectators left . Unfortunately that wasn’t an option . He lifted my chin , looked me dead in my eyes and told me I must accept my fate with my head high. I was eventually escorted out the ring with my hood pulled low so no one could see my face.  Even though I couldn’t see I could feel their judgemental stares and hear their jeers loud and clear Which only added fuel to the fire . 
You would think after the hell I’ve been through I would’ve  been hung up my gloves already but my pride won’t allow me to . You would also assume that the reaction earlier was solely due to my loss . But it was more so the fact that this Time around I was only a few points shy from winning . Hell to be honest I’ve never lasted a solid twelve rounds yet along ten at that . Previous years were full of eight counts , K.O.s, TKO, and even outclassed. Yea this year gave me a hell of a ass whooping but I endured it like a champ !!! 2016 was supposed to be my year but came up short and finished real weak , which resulted to my defeat . 

I refuse to die a failure ! I refuse to give up on my joy , my dreams , my faith . Therefore after I get off my pitty potty I do like I do every new year . Add the footage to the pile , study harder , plan better, practice longer , pray harder , prepare for my newest opponent, and focus on ending this year victorious! I don’t care how long it takes or how maybe losses I have to take . Knock me down and out all you want . But just know this  : 


One step at a time ! One punch at a time ! One round at a time !

Happy New. Year everyone!  Never stop dreaming and never stop fighting for YOU! 

With Love,

Your favorite southpaw,



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